I sometimes text while driving, and floss my teeth while waiting at stoplights

I love pictures of kids crying…with squinty eyes, red cheeks, desperate expressions and tear stains

Every gray hair found on my head is greeted with tweezers or a black Sharpie

I follow over 100 blogs, and can easily spend 2 hours a day reading them

I occasionally watch R-rated movies (and I’d only watched 5 ever when I met my husband)

I’ll accept any offer for lunch/dinner/dessert, even if I’ve already eaten for that meal

I only clean my house when someone’s coming over, including when my husband comes home from a trip